What are your fears and phobias?

 Storm Drains

“Nyla, run out and do this next one,” my mother said as she extended the newspaper towards me. I sat in the car torn between the outstretched arm and the water swiftly flowing into the inauspicious drain beneath the orange mailbox. A knot tightened in my stomach, as the unsettling image of an unseen force pulling me into the drain flashed through my mind. “ Just do it youll be fine” I reassured myself as I summoned the courage to accept the task. 

Tentatively grabbing the newspaper from my mothers hand I exited the car with hesitation. The rainwater's gurgling descent into the drain seemed to echoe ominously in my ears as I cautiously advanced towards the mailbox. Suddenly, the blare of a horn shattered my focus, jolting me back to the task at hand

“ Come on, Nyla.” my mother called out impatiently. With a quick glance from the car to the drain I tossed the newspaper into the mailbox and spirited back tot the safety of the car. My heart was pounding with a mix of safety and relief. 

Needles

Can you sit on your mommy's lap for a moment? Now, Mom, hold her with your arms," the nurse instructed. Blissfully unaware of the impending ordeal, I complied, settling onto my mother's lap while playfully kicking my legs back and forth. It seemed like an innocent moment until I spotted the nurse approaching with a needle.

As the nurse prepared my skin with an alcohol wipe, the realization struck me—I had been deceived. Panic set in, and I began to squirm, desperate to escape my mother's grasp. The needle loomed, and in a desperate frenzy, I screamed, kicked, and briefly entertained the idea of running away from home. However, my attempts were futile. 

Four shots later, I sat with a face stained with tears and a soul marred by my mother's unwitting betrayal. The trauma lingers to this day. 

Failure: 

The quote ‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, it is that we are powerful beyond measure.’ used to resonate with me. I interpreted it as a reflection of our fear of having to shoulder the responsibility that greatness brings, causing us to be wary of our own capabilities. 

However, as I have begun to navigate the college application process, and meticulously laid out my achievements for strangers to evaluate, my perspective has shifted. 

I have recently realized that my fear is not rooted in the potential negative ramifications of greatness; instead, it's the looming specter of inadequacy that haunts me. My worry is that despite my best efforts my goals will constantly be slightly out of my reach. Regrettably I am unsure how to confront or overcome this fear. How do I convince myself of my own adequacy? When will I be sure that my life will not simply be a compilation of me chasing unattainable goals? These questions plague my mind and the fear of not being good enough persist in this crucial juncture of my life. 

Authors Note: I wanted to try something a little different, this isn't the traditional format for a personal essay so I had a lot of trouble integrating personal reflection, some tips on that would be appreciated.